Letting Go of Guilt

Letting Go of Guilt

Guilt. We all deal with it. Sometimes on a daily basis. We fight the invisible battles within our minds, adding comparison and insecurity to fan the flames. I have been reading in Luke this month and in chapter 22 Jesus warns Peter of his upcoming denial and a few verses later it happens and the rooster crows and then

Luke 22:61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter...

That stops me in my tracks and I have to catch my breath! Peter heard the warning and professed his loyalty to Christ, yet still claimed to not know him! And Jesus looked straight into his eyes. Talk about feeling guilt.

My guilt may not stem from the kind of thing that Peter faced. My guilt may come from being impatient and yelling at my kids, neglecting my time with God, not making that phone call I know I should, giving my husband the silent treatment when I am upset, or eating that dessert when my clothes are telling me not to. We all have our own battles to fight, but we have guilt in common.

Guilt can become Satan's playground. He whispers,"You aren't good enough and you never will be.  Give it up, this is a joke.  How many times will you fail before you quit." 

I know his whispers well and I bet you do too. For far too long I would listen to these and be sidetracked, frozen in my failings, unable to move forward. But I have recently had another thought about this scene from the life of Christ. I always pictured the look on Christ's face as deep hurt and disappointment because that's what I would feel. But what if it was just love that Peter saw on His face? Not the scathing how-could-you look, but the I-still-love-you look. Undeserved, unmerited, just-like-Jesus love.

And what if the thing that caused Peter to weep bitterly wasn't just guilt, but a truly repentant heart? Guilt may be the way we get there when we come to grips with our sin, but guilt can't be our final destination.You see there is a big difference. Guilt holds us in it's grip and keeps us wallowing in our pit of despair. Repentance gives us hope because Christ loves and forgives, in spite of our failing. And so, we arm ourselves with the Word of God and we begin to fight back against the whispers that seek to make us less than God intended.

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

For His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lam 3:22-23

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Look back at Luke 22:32 when Jesus is warning Peter of what he will do.

"But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."

Christ knew what Peter would do, but he didn't cut him off. He counted on his repentance. Guilt keeps us chained to our sin and focused on ourselves. Repentance turns our focus back to Him. We weep over our sin, give thanks for His forgiveness, and move forward in His freedom. Jesus still had a plan and purpose for Peter AND for us. He is holding out His arms to us. We can never be good enough, that part is true. But I don't have to be. Thank God for the blood of Jesus that paid for all my guilty stains and I am choosing to climb out of that pit and into His arms.

Date Night at Home

Date Night at Home

My husband and I recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and throughout our marriage we have kept up with our date night habits. Is it every week? Absolutely not, our schedules are too hectic. Sometimes we have gone a few months (not recommended) and realized that we are long overdue, but I think it is one of the healthiest things to do for our relationship and our family. 

That being said, when you have a large family it is hard to get away at times so our goal this year is to do one night out and one night in each month. Now we love dinner and Netflix as much as anyone, but sometimes we need something a bit different so this month I popped in a frozen pizza for the kids and they ate and happily went upstairs to watch a movie while we prepared dinner together. We had this recipe and some roasted vegetables and it was quite good. Add a little candlelight and a brownie topped with peppermint ice cream for dessert and we were all set for the next portion of the evening.

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipe/249633/chicken-breasts-with-mushroom-cream-sauce/

After dinner, Netflix was replaced by YouTube. We have used this for date night in various ways. Watching Christian comedians like Tim Hawkins or John Crist, having paint nights to bring out our inner Bob Ross, occasionally looking for directions on how to repair something around the house, but this time I had another idea...ballroom dancing. Todd is not much of a dancer but he is willing to try. It helps that there was no one there to watch and no money involved! So we tried a few basic steps like the fox trot and waltz and since our living room is not ballroom-sized we had to improvise a bit and were laughing so hard the kids had to come and see what was happening that they were missing out on. I call that a good date!

We also enjoy playing games. It ranges from good old rummy, to Othello, Pandemic, just about anything that works well with two-players. We got a few escape room games for Christmas, mainly because I wanted to try it without spending a chunk of change, and I think these are great for date night. We played this one with the family and it was a little harder with more people because you had to wait to look at the cards or book but we still enjoyed it. There are hint cards for when you get stuck and we needed a few of those, but overall I thought it was pretty well thought out.



https://www.amazon.com/Thames-Kosmos-Exit-Abandoned-Cabin/dp/B06WP2G52Z/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1547336080&sr=8-2&keywords=exit+the+game+abandoned+cabin

These are one-and-done games. You cannot reuse them as some of the contents will be used up and destroyed in the game but I think for the price it is good for an hour or two of fun if you enjoy solving puzzles and clues.

So if you guys have suggestions for at-home dates or games you enjoy, please leave it in the comments. I am always looking for new ideas.




                                                     


https://www.amazon.com/Z-Man-Games-ZM7101-Pandemic/dp/B00A2HD40E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1547337007&sr=8-1&keywords=pandemic+game




https://www.amazon.com/Othello-Classic-Game-2-Player/dp/B01MXWTYLF/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1547337123&sr=8-1&keywords=othello+game

GETTING BACK ON TRACK

You would think that after 16 years of homeschooling my kids, I would have this all figured out. But still, it is a struggle. Trying to return to the normal routine after the kids have had weeks of late nights, too much tv, too much junk food, too few responsibilities. I have tried different ways of easing back into the groove. This year it went like this.

        Me:  (waking kids a half hour later than usual) "Time to get up and get dressed. We are going out for breakfast to celebrate!"  (We never go out to breakfast)

        Kids: "I don't want to go to breakfast."  "Why didn't you tell us last night."  

"I don't like that restaurant."  "Do we have to."

Not one thank you. Not one excited cheer. I was met with enough grumbling and complaining to rob the joy from any good-intentioned momma. Enough to bring that same grumbling and complaining to the surface of my soul. To make me want to throw up my hands and give up the fight. Yet God whispers. Keep going. Don't give in. I will be your strength! 

We made it through an imperfect breakfast, managed to stop at the library, and accomplish the goals I had for the day. God showed me that cultivating a thankful heart in my kids (and myself) is something we should work on in the next few months.

Digging into Ian's school, I find that we are studying the Tabernacle this week and we set to work making a model. Along the way, we talk about how the Israelites didn't have direct access to God, but had the curtain separating them from the Most Holy Place. Only the high priest could enter into God's presence once a year.

Tabernacle in progress, including a tiny Ark of the Covenant

I am so thankful that the curtain was torn in two, and that now we can go directly to our Father. He has given us access through Christ. He wants to hear from his children. Apart from our salvation, that is probably one of his best gifts to us. Intimacy with our Creator that He initiates. In fact, He pursues us with His whole being. That leaves me speechless.

THAT is the love of God for us.





If you are curious about the curriculum we use, it is MY FATHER'S WORLD: Creation to the Greeks https://www.mfwbooks.com/products/10/Creation-to-the-Greeks/#Overview

And my planner (which is my favorite of all time) is found here
https://www.mardel.com/Homeschool/Pre-Buy-A-Simple-Plan-Homeschool-Planner-2019-2020-Watercolor-Flowers-and-Birds-Spiral/p/3707999

Word for the Year

My very first blog post ever.

       Wow. I am really doing this. In the midst of my hectic life I have decided to start a blog. A place to share what is on my heart and to be real with myself and the world. I don't want staged photos of my less than perfect house or only glowing reports of the highlights of my days with my family. Why? Because in my life I am encouraged when I see people being real. We don't have it all together. I don't glory in the failures of others, I acknowledge that they are imperfect humans who need the grace of God in their lives just as much as I do. We don't need the false examples of social media perfection. We need the knowledge that God loves us right where we are. Struggling, lonely, laughable, beautiful souls who need to keep going when the going gets tough. So I want to offer you encouragement as I share my faith, family, homeschool and life with whoever chooses to read it.


     Now on to this business of my word for the year. I don't usually do New Year's Resolutions but I started keeping a bullet journal this year as a creative outlet (which I am  enjoying) and I have been inspired to become a little more goal oriented than just a go-with-the-flow kinda gal. I enjoy seeing goals that others set and aspire to accomplish and I have a few of those in place this year but this whole idea of having a "theme word" to focus on is appealing to me on many levels. The simplicity of remembering one word is a bonus for this over 40 mom with serious brain fog. Having something to refocus my attention and time will bless my whole family and give me a prayer focus. Sooooo, what is my word, you ask?

PRESENT

In the moment. Focused on the people I am with, not my device or my to-do list or what I am making for dinner. I feel like I have missed many moments waiting on the next event on the calendar. The way that you can't wait to be 16, or 21, or in a relationship or whatever your "next thing" is. The spirit of discontent that drives our society is something I want less of. I want to nurture a grateful spirit and enjoy what is. More Mary and less Martha. 

Luke 10:38-42 (ESV)
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."



In this ever encroaching technology-driven world we live in it is increasingly hard to practice this. There aren't just husband, children, work and home vying for attention. We are bombarded with things calling for instant attention and so many ways to check out of reality. We become slaves to the things that were intended to make life easier. So this year I want to be engaged, set limits, and if I don't accept an invite or respond to a message from you right away, don't take it personally. I am in the moment and present elsewhere. 

So how about you? Is God laying something on your heart to focus on? Do you have a word picked out for 2019 yet? I would love to hear from you. Share your word or how you stay present in your life. Let's help each other along the way!